Top 5 Things Dogs In Hats Are Tired Of Hearing

Some people are real jerkbags when it comes to telling dogs what they should or shouldn’t do with their bodies.
It’s 2016, although some people act like it’s still 1996. Here are the top 5 things dogs that wear hats are tired of hearing. Stop me if you’ve heard any of these before (don’t actually stop me).

1.”Wearing a hat like that, you’re kinda asking to be cuddled.”

Yeah, nice work meatbag! Just because I’m wearing a hat means that somehow it’s just inviting cuddles from anyone and everyone? Move along.

2. “Wanna take that hat over to my place?”

That’s the oldest trick in the book! My hat is not some sort of object you can just get off some store shelf. It’s part of me. Get bent.

3. “Is it appropriate for you to be wearing a hat? Isn’t it more of a cat thing?”

Um, how about society stops being so regressive and reappropriate animal hats to be inclusive to dogs. Who do you think you are? Skedaddle.

4. “Is that a boy hat or a girl hat?”

The gender of my hat is not something to comment on. Shimmy onwards.

5. “Oh how cute! Look a dog in a hat!”

Better believe it sister.

Written by Chris Blundell

Chris is the Editor of The Vurp.
A strong, powerful, handsome man who writes his own biography.
He does not condone any of the content on this site, but he will bank the advertising revenue.

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