Time to debunk the myths about booping a child’s nose

For over two thousand years, families have bonded over children’s laughter. Nothing brings laughter to a child’s throat quicker than the simple act of booping it’s nose. But as with everything in life, misinformation runs riot. Here at The Vurp, we bust the top myths about booping a child’s nose.

Will stave off the childs hunger for an hour or so

On the surface, this makes sense. A simple distraction to make the child forget that it has basic human functions. The reality is quite different, if a child is hungry, it remains hungry until you feed it. No matter how much you try to distract it.

It will turn the child inside out

Many things can turn a child inside out. Playground games, undercooked food, really intense dancing all run the risk of taking your child’s insides and exposing them to the elements. Fortunately, booping a child’s nose is not one of those situations.

Will return the child back to its natural human form from its goblin form

Babies look cuter in their human form, which is why it’s so disappointing to see them in their goblin state 30% of the time. The truth is that their goblin form comes on sporadically and there is little to no control over it.

Will set the Tivo to record Bar Rescue

It’s estimated that up to 30% of people have a child as a means of recording Jon Taffer tear someone to shreds for mismanaging their bar. Booping a child’s nose will not Tivo Bar Rescue, nor will it record any Guy Fieri programs.

It will grant three wishes

We’d all love to think that you could have three wishes granted by booping a child’s nose. I’d personally wish for a stabler economy, a new car and an easier route to work. This, unfortunately isn’t going to come from booping a child’s nose.

It will grant four wishes

Needless to say, four wishes is even more of a stretch than three wishes. Think about it.

It will open the door to the Nether Realm

Children’s souls take 9 months to escape the darkest pits of Hades, so it would stand to reason that they would hold a strong connection to the Nether Realm and booping it’s nose would help bridge the two worlds. Sadly, nothing could be further from the truth and we’re left to the usual methods for getting to the first depths.

 

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