My son is stupid, like really fucking dumb. But I would never say that out loud because it would make him feel ashamed and this is problematic.
Imagine the disappointment: you’re a doctor, your husband is a lawyer, you’ve never received a test grade less than an A, your entire family are members of Mensa apart from one son: Jeremy. He doesn’t have a learning disability, he’s not dyslexic, wasn’t dropped on his head as a child, none of these things apply to my beautiful darling boy. He’s stupid. And when I see people argue on the internet calling each other ‘stupid’ ‘dumb’ or ‘ill-informed’, this offends me because it makes me think of Jeremy.
Mindshaming is problematic, because, like bodyshaming for fat/skinny/medium people, mindshaming makes the victim feel sad, just like my little 35 year old Jeremy. It’s no ones fault that he makes ill-informed racist comments on Facebook, regularly throws molotov-juggling parties, or pre-ordered Tony Hawk’s Po Skater 5 on all platforms, he’s simply stupid, and thats ok.
What can we do to combat mindshaming? Well I’m sure a hashtag could be invented, or some sort of profile picture swap, like change it red, I dunno. Someone else needs to do that because I’m busy. Just don’t ask Jeremy, because he can’t.