Contrary to popular opinion, parents are there to protect us from the dangers of the outside world, often inventing gloriously strange reasons for us to behave properly. Sometimes the lies were so crazy that we had no option but to believe them. We’ve collected the eight most popular lies parents tell children, how many did your parents say to you?
1. “If you hum for too long, the druids will return”
Ah, the old classic. A popular one with Dads and noisy sons. Of course, the druids never returned. Or maybe we just didn’t hum for long enough.
2. “Carol is a boys name”
A very obvious lie. Carol is the name of a song traditionally sung at Christmas.
3. “Oil prices are capped”
As much as eight year old me would have liked to believe this, it’s untrue. I suppose my parents were trying to keep me from the harsh reality of the real world.
4. “Eating carrots will make your hands shoot lazers”
No one eats carrots so no one will ever find out if this is true. Although, I nearly ate a parsnip once.
5. “Crossing the road is safer by candlelight”
A half-truth, crossing a river is safer by candlelight, crossing a road is usually safest on a skateboard or other moveable platform
6. “The Rodeo is a hive of scum and villainy”
What Rodeo, mum?!
7. “Beer on wine, feel fine, wine on beer, superpowers”
Parents can be so persuasive sometimes.
8. “Eating is a sign of weakness, do it away from prying eyes, lest people see your vulnerabilities”
Fortunately, also a lie. Although its tough to shake off the habits that this has formed. I know I’m not alone in this one.