52% of nation “very old” and “pretty racist” survey reveals

Early this morning the results of the largest survey of its kind were revealed to show that 52% of Britain is “very old” and “pretty racist”. The survey, known simply as the “EU Referendum” uncovered some revealing aspects of the UK’s population and its habits. Showing that it’s not only very gullible to propaganda, but also has a population “most likely to sit on the front of its porch with a shotgun asking any other countries to ‘keep walking'”.

Over 72% of the nation took part in the survey with the other 28% too busy sunbathing in the Spanish isle of Mallorca to be bothered to get involved.

A spokesperson for the country said “We can breathe a sigh of relief to finally have all our fears confirmed. It’s comforting to know that when push comes to shove, as a nation, we can all band together and be very very xenophobic. It’s truly inspiring.”

As a result of the survey, the nation announced that it’s currently pursuing bringing back Shillings, rationing, capital punishment and illiteracy.

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