5 Myths and Legends BUSTED!

In a world filled with deceit, it’s difficult to tell what’s real and what’s not. Stories that have been told through generations have often forgone the correct factual checks, so we’re here to BUST those lies wide open

Pandora’s Box

Pandora’s Box was said to have contained all of the evils of the world within it, and it is commonly referenced to describe a situation that begins innocently but has dire ramifications. Actually, Pandora’s Box was just a storage vessel for Pandora’s Pogs collection. We all now know that the evils of the world came from when James Cameron disturbed the sunken wreckage of the Titanic. Can I get a BUSTED!?

The Boy Who Cried Wolf

The famous moral tale of the importance of being truthful, and forgoing the childish desire to play tricks on entire villages. A boy tells people of a nearby village that a wolf is attacking his flock, seemingly as a joke, one too many times until the villagers no longer believe him, which leads to a disastrous outcome when there really is a wolf. Plagued by guilt and questions of his own sanity, the boy suffered a major mental breakdown, but not before writing a memoir. According to the boy, there was always a wolf, and when the other villagers came to see, the wolf hid in a bush and told the sheep to “act natural”. One by one, the wolf abducted sheep and replaced them with enormous cotton balls, with cardboard tubes for legs, and the boy was forced suffer in silence as the deceitful wolf toyed with him psychologically. With no one to turn to, the boy became a hermit, and the villagers carried on about their business, never knowing the truth behind the boy who used to watch the flock of sheep, which can still be seen standing in that same field today. If only the villagers were quicker to the scene, they might have BUSTED the wolf, like we have this myth.

Captain Phillips

Hah, yea right, Tom Hanks! Pirates don’t exist anymore. And what happened? Did you run out of budget for wooden legs and parrots? Puh-lease! I could go on, but I think that this myth BUSTS itself, I’m the Captain now Tom!

 Achilles’ Heel

Legend tells us that Achilles was made immortal when his mother held him by the heel and dipped him in the river Styx, and that his heel remained the only mortal part of him (now known as the Achilles Heel, but once known as the Terry’s Tendon). It is now known that the water of the river Styx, while definitely capable of granting immortality, is only effective so long as the water remains on the skin, meaning that Achilles likely wiped off any immortality with his beach towel. This myth is also BUSTED due to new archaeological evidence suggesting that Achilles had no heels anyway.

The Holy Grail

The chalice of legend, said to have once contained the blood of Jesus Christ himself. Newly deciphered segments of the Dead Sea Scrolls suggest the “Holy Grail!” was just something that Jesus used to exclaim. Supposedly while posing for the last supper paintings, Matthew pointed out that his wine goblet was leaking. Matthew said, “There’s a hole in my cup!” to which Jesus said in jest, “Please, I will not have some holey grail detract attention from my Holy self!” Everyone at the dinner laughed, and from then on it was common to shout “Holy grail!” with surprise. If people had have noticed that Judas wasn’t laughing as genuinely as everyone else, then perhaps, like this myth, he’d have been BUSTED!

Written by Jordan Fuller

Jordan is second in command at The Vurp.
As well as having the mind of a fox (quite literally), he also speaks over one different languages.

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